Toxic
by BlissfulNightRain
Summary: Is Roxas a crappy friend, or am I just a huge pushover? I don't even know anymore...honestly, it's been one hell of a roller-coaster ride. AU. Sora POV.
1. Prologue

_Prologue_

The jingling of keys sounds from the other side of the hallway. There's only one other person who has them for the dorm. I hear him shove them into the slot of the doorknob, unlocking it with a _click_. The door swings open with ease, and my roommate Riku walks in, paper bag full of groceries in hand.

"I'm back," he announces, making his way towards the mini-fridge we have in the corner of the room.

"Get anything good?" I ask from my bed, eyes still glued to my phone.

"Just some drinks and fruit, and I'll keep chips and cereal and all that stuff on my shelf. If you want any, be my guest." The bag rustles while he unloads his purchases and puts them in their new designated spots.

"Thanks, man." I don't mean to sound like I don't give a crap about his kind gesture, nor do I realize that I do 'til the noises of all his shuffling around stops. I look up over my phone screen at him, to see him bent near the now-shut mini-fridge, eyeing me quizzically.

"You alright, Sora? You look pretty stressed."

"It's…" I trail off; to be honest, I don't even really know what to say. Do I even have the right to talk about it? I don't want to make _him_ look bad, but at the same time…

"Of course, you don't have to tell me if you're not comfortable with talking about it," he reassures, noticing my hesitation. "You're usually not this quiet, though, so you had me kinda worried."

"It's just another friend of mine," I explain. Maybe I can talk about it if I keep it as vague as I can. "We sorta got into an argument, and I don't really know how to feel about it."

Riku sits on his desk chair, which he wheels over to the foot of my bed. "Paopu juice?" he asks, holding up a can in each hand.

Alright, I can't stay too upset when there's paopu juice in the house!

"Thanks, man!" I sit up and catch the can he tosses to me.

"Back to what you were saying," he begins, as I pull back on the metal cap of the juice can, "if the argument's still going on, it's probably best for you to step away from it for a little while. I learned the hard way that it's best not to get into riffs without a putting a little time and thought into what you say. It helps keep emotions under control, too."

I take a contemplative sip.

To be honest, I can't stand the feeling of knowing someone is upset with me. It claws at me from the inside, like it's slowly shredding at my heart, and the only way I can stop it is by working my hardest to get on that person's good side again. And when it's someone important to me, the toxicity of the situation is only amplified, the need for the antidote all the more dire. I'll step away from my ego and admit to my wrongs, even if I _know_ I'm right.

The thing is, I have my limits.

"Honestly, I'm just tired of this," I reflect out loud, letting out a dejected sigh.

"It shows," he nods in agreement, taking sip out of his own juice. Should I tell him…?

"I can…trust you to keep a secret, right, Riku?"

"I mean, I already shared your bank account number with all the people at the grocery store, and we've only been roommates for about 6 hours," he quips, giant smirk on his face. I feign a sour expression, which makes him snicker. "In all seriousness, though, bro, tell me whatever. I promise you, these lips are sealed." I can tell he's being a hundred percent genuine; I wouldn't expect any less from this guy.

Riku isn't my closest friend – at this point, I don't even know who that title belongs to right now – but I do know that he's a great guy. And super laid-back. It's why I chose him to be my roommate instead.

I take a big gulp of the almost too-sweet, tangy juice before I begin. "Before I start, I just want to say that I don't want you to take this as me talking shit…I just…really need to get some stuff off my chest." He nods in understanding. "It's about…Roxas."

"Roxas, huh? I thought you two were practically attached at the hip." He leans back in his chair.

"We were – _are_ – really close but…we've been through a lot. There were several things that happened last year that I don't think I would have overcome without him having my back. He's a great friend. But, he struggles, too. And, to be honest, sometimes, it's too much for me to handle…" I let out another sigh. "Maybe I'm just a crappy friend."

"Or maybe you're just a pushover," Riku quickly suggests. "Look, I don't know Roxas very well, but…I've heard things."

Instantly I'm on the defensive.

"Like what? I'm sure a lot of the stuff out there's not true. People like to twist things against him a lot, and I don't understand why…"

"Hey, man, I'm not saying I believe any of it," he clarifies, before I go off on a tangent. "All my interactions with Roxas have only been good. I think he's a solid guy. But there _are_ rumors out there."

"People need to mind their own business," I scoff, reclining on the wall my bed is propped up against.

"Totally agreed," he concedes. "But, um, anyway, what was it you wanted to tell me?"

Flashbacks of the previous year run through my mind like a highlight reel. A smorgasbord of emotions overwhelms me as I reminisce about the highs and the lows, the happiness and the drama. Oh, the drama.

There's too much back-story that accompanies all this baggage.

"I think there's a lot I need to say," I explain apologetically. "It might take a while."

"Take all the time you need. I don't have any plans for the rest of the day."

"You sure?" He nods. I take a moment to gather my thoughts before I begin. "Well…Roxas and Kairi broke up." I look for a reaction, but his expression doesn't change. "And, he's pissed at me because he doesn't think I genuinely care." Which is totally unfair! I've always put our friendship first, regardless of my feelings...

"But…you're his best friend, aren't you?" Riku asks. One of his eyebrows has risen up onto his forehead in confusion.

"I don't even know anymore…honestly, it's been one hell of a rollercoaster ride." He takes this into consideration for a few moments before he speaks again.

"Why don't you just start from the beginning? Talking about all the history and retracing all your steps might help you figure out what you need to do." Can't deny, that's a good idea. And…maybe it's just what I need.

"Alright…Roxas is one of the most caring, considerate people I've ever known, but…he's complicated…"

* * *

 **A/N:** Dang, it's been a while since I've started a fic! Feels good, but at the same time, running three fics at the same time isn't gonna be easy...

Anyway, this fic is going to be pretty different from what I've put out so far. It won't be all fun, fluffy, and funny like the majority of my other stuff is. In fact, in all honestly, this story is going to be based on some events that have occurred in my life; I guess, through Sora, I'll be venting to you guys :P Of course, names have all been changed and some events will be more or less exaggerated than they actually occur to keep you guys somewhat entertained, because, hey, that's fiction for ya!

I don't see this story being super duper long, but it will be divided into two parts; the first will be an account of what Roxas and Sora have gone through during the previous year, and how they got to the point they're in now, and the second will be back in present day, as he goes through and figures out what the best solutions are to his problems are, and, ultimately, the fate of his friendship.

I really hope you guys enjoy this, please let me know what you think in a **review**!


	2. I

**Part 1:** _ **Falling Again, Might Need a Pick-Me-Up…**_

 **I**

I met Roxas the day I moved in, freshman year – almost a year ago today.

I'll admit, I wasn't exactly in the best of places emotionally or mentally then. There was a lot of stuff going on back home on the Islands – the gist of that is basically a huge falling out with friends. And not just any old acquaintances, but my absolute best friends that I'd had for as long as I can remember… I don't think it's too important to get into the details, I'm over it now…or, I think I am, but anyway, like I said, I won't bore you with that. As can probably imagine, I was feeling pretty stressed and extremely lonely. A part of me was relieved to leave all that behind in coming here, but I was still hurt and insecure over what happened. Naturally, I was also a little nervous, meeting new people and letting them into my life. I wasn't sure I was ready; I didn't want to set myself up for more pain, you know?

Naturally, I hesitated when Zack – you remember my roommate last year, right? – asked me to go out and chill that first night at some party in some upperclassman's apartment down the street. I was planning on just staying in for the night, maybe catching up on some shows or my laptop or something; you know, being a total recluse. But that was what I'd been doing basically all throughout summer break, and my conscience was telling me that it was time for a change. I also just had a feeling that something was going to happen. Whether good or bad, I couldn't tell, but you know that feeling when you know you're about to walk into some sort of important life change? And the only way I would be able to discover that, I knew in my gut, was to go with Zack, and so I did.

As you know, Zack and I never really got too close. I thought we would. Most movies and books always set it up so that your college roommate ends up being your best friend for life, but I guess that's the stuff of fairy tales. Oh well. We had some pretty good conversation on the way over to the party, but once we set foot into the apartment (which was absolutely _packed_ ), he whisked over through the sea of people to a bunch of friends he already had, leaving me behind in the dust.

I mean, what was I to expect? Zack was from Radiant Garden, he already knew a lot of people. As a newbie from Destiny Islands, I was going to have to work to build a new network of friends here. The problem with being in once place with the same people all my life, however, was that I wasn't too sure how to do that. The atmosphere of this party wasn't helping too much, either. It was extremely congested; I'm pretty sure hundreds of fire codes were being broken. People split up in their cliques, dancing and getting wasted, with the lights dimmed down and the music blaring so loudly you couldn't really have a conversation even if you wanted to. So, not knowing what else to do, I just ended up doing what we all do to avoid awkward social situations: plop myself onto the floor in the corner and browse my phone 'til it's over.

At least, I intended to do that, until someone decided to join me.

"Too cool for the party?" I heard him say loudly over the music. I looked over to see a guy with a smirk on his face – or at least, that's what I think it was. It was too dark to see clearly.

"More like not cool enough," I blurted out with a nervous chuckle. He laughed at my response, probably thinking I was pretty slick, but I was just being honest…I was just taken aback that someone actually came out of their way to talk to me, especially with me hiding in the corner.

"Well, I know I don't know you, but I can definitely tell you're not having fun here," he said, rather amused. Another awkward chuckle from me confirmed his observation. "I was about to head out myself. Wanna come with?"

To be honest, my mind was completely blown. Was the universe really just handing me a potential friend? Was it really supposed to be _this_ easy?

Well, I couldn't let the opportunity slip away. I glanced over towards where Zack was, having a good, care-free time with all the friends he was surrounded by…I knew he wouldn't miss me too much if I bailed. So, I got right up and followed this stranger who, at that point, might as well have just been sent from the heavens as my savior.

Even though I was in that crowded apartment for only a matter of minutes, I almost forgot what the fresh air felt like.

"If that's all there is to college parties, I'm not sure I'm interested," the stranger remarked. Now that my senses weren't so overwhelmed by the noise, crowd, and darkness, I could actually take a good, clear look at him. I couldn't help but notice he was a pretty good-looking dude, definitely more put-together than I was. His blond hair was about as messy as mine is, but while I felt mine made me look kind of untidy (could never fix it no matter how hard I try, man), his just gave him this air of cool nonchalance.

The snapshot: he was confident and collected, but still approachable, and I couldn't help but like him right away.

"I only went 'cause some girl in my building invited me along," he explained. "I thought it might be a fun experience, since they glamorize it so much and all, but I don't think getting drunk and grinding on people I barely know is my style. Who knows, though? Maybe when I get to know more people it'll be more fun."

"Maybe," I agreed.

"So what's your story? Didn't seem like you were having the grandest time of your life, either."

I was taken aback by his interest in me. "Oh, uh, pretty similar situation. My roommate invited me along, but he kind of disappeared with his friends when he got there."

"Huh, that's kind of rude."

I totally agreed, but I still felt obliged to justify Zack's behavior a little bit. After all, I was going to have to live with the guy for the next year. "It's cool, I get it. Besides, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it even if I did hang out with him over there."

"I guess," Roxas shrugged, unconvinced. "By the way, I didn't catch your name."

"Oh, I'm Sora!"

"Roxas," he introduced himself. "Hey, I don't know if you're busy or not, but if you want, I'm heading over to my friends Pence and Hayner's place. Wanna come with? It won't be anything like that –" he pointed over to the apartment, " – just chilling with a couple of friends who finally got their stuff moved in."

Was this real? This guy not only saved me from that party, but was actually inviting me to chill with him? Not that Zack hadn't earlier, but he kind of kicked me to the curb right away. I didn't know Roxas at all at this point, but something just told me he wouldn't do the same. At least, I really hoped he wouldn't.

People don't pick a lost puppy out of a box only to leave it in the middle of the street, right?

"I'm down – I mean, if it's not a problem. I definitely wouldn't want to intrude…"

"Not at all, man! This is what college is all about, right? Meeting new people? Come through!"

"O-okay!" It's not like I had anything better to do. And I was basically being handed a pass to make some new friends – how could I turn it down? All I needed to do now was be cool, since it was apparently my lack of ability to do that that lost me my old friends in the first place…

Ahem, anyway, without hesitation, Roxas began leading me down the street. "Hayner and Pence are two of my best friends from back in Twilight Town," he explained.

"Oh, is that where you're from?" I asked. I hadn't heard of it before.

"Yeah, it's actually pretty close to here – well, far enough that I can dorm here, but not too far that I can't go home on the weekends if I wanted to. It's nothing too special, though. What about you? Where you from?"

"Much further away," I chuckled. "Have you heard of Destiny Islands?"

Roxas' face lit up right away. "Have I?! It's only one of the top vacation spots in the world! That's awesome, dude! What's it like to live there?"

"It's alright," I shrugged. While I was happy that I got Roxas excited, like I said before, I still had a sour taste in my mouth from all the events that had transpired over the summer.

"Just _alright_?! Summer 24/7, _amazing_ food from what I've heard, beaches all around…I can't imagine why you'd want to leave, man!"

"Well, it kind of gets old after a while. I guess I needed a change."

"I see." He didn't prod any further at that point. Honestly, though, if he had asked at that point, I wouldn't have minded explaining to him – he seemed like the guy you could tell just about anything to. "Well, Radiant Garden isn't too bad of a place to be at all. Really cool history behind this place. Lots of sights to see and people to meet, too, from what I've heard so far."

"That's what I'm hoping for!"

"Yeah. It's proving to be way better than old Twilight Town is, anyway. That place is a total dump in comparison."

"Really?"

"Maybe I'm being a bit harsh. I guess I'm just bored of the same-old, too," he chuckled. I couldn't help but smile. It's lame when I think back on it now, but a guy this cool drawing parallels with me was definitely helping my confidence. Kind of naïve, though, too, since I didn't realize that he was speaking about as cryptically as I was at that point.

"Hayner and the gang probably wouldn't agree with me, though," Roxas continued.

By that time, we'd reached Hayner and Pence's dorm, which was actually the same building as mine and, as I ended up finding out later, yours was. Balamb Hall was the freshman dormitory, after all.

"Do you live here, too?" I asked Roxas, at this point sincerely hoping the answer was yes.

"Nah, I'm in one of the specialty dorms," he explained. "Everyone I know lives here, and I'm sure the bulk of the people I'm going to meet are, too, but I'd rather be able to just retreat to a place that's a little cut off, you know? Besides, I'm sure Hayner, Pence, or Olette will let me crash if I ever need to."

"Makes sense." The two of us boarded the elevator and took it to the tenth floor, two above mine and one below yours, if I remember correctly! Anyway, after venturing up and down the meandering hallway, we finally found the room. I was pretty apprehensive while we waited for someone to open the door after knocking. Like, I was excited at the prospect of new friends, but at the same time, I was afraid I might be made to feel awkward. After all, everyone in this group already knew each other; I didn't want to be an alienated intruder.

Didn't have too much time to dwell on that, though, since the door opened pretty quickly.

"HEY!" the guy who opened it greeted us enthusiastically. His gaze shifted quickly from Roxas over to me, and his excitement suddenly fizzed out into befuddlement.

"This is Sora," Roxas explained. "I met him over at the party I was just at."

"Hey." I waved awkwardly – I wasn't too sure if this guy actually wanted me there, judging from the body language.

"Oh, that's cool," he responded, to my relief. He still seemed a little reserved, but at least I wasn't unwelcome. "I'm Hayner. Come on in." I walked into a dorm that was set up identical to mine; small and narrow. This one felt a little homier though – probably because of all the Struggle posters and the photos that decorated all the otherwise stark, white walls.

"Hey guys!" Roxas greeted the room. There were only two other people in there, both sitting on one of the beds. They waved back excitedly. "This is Sora. Sora, these are my friends Pence and Olette."

"Nice to meet ya!" Pence saluted. Olette nodded in agreement.

"You guys, too," I responded. Roxas and Hayner sat themselves down on the other bed across, and I was just kind of left to stand there awkwardly.

"You gonna sit down?" Hayner asked. His tone wasn't very inviting, but I assumed he meant well. Roxas gestured for me to sit next to him, and so I did.

I stayed relatively quiet as the four of them talked about the move-in process. Unless I was asked a question, I hesitated to jump in on the conversation. Didn't want to throw myself at them or make some sort of wrong move, you know?

From the conversations we had, I was able to surmise a bit of each of their personalities. Looking back, first impressions are really interesting – most of the time, they're only a brief snapshot, not riddled by the complexities of the various layers and experiences that really make a person who he or she is.

Olette was a total sweetheart, as you'd now come to expect. She did her best to make me feel included, constantly asking for my opinions on the things she'd bring up, and really engaging while she was listening to what I had to say. I liked her right away. As for Pence, I felt kind of bad for him right off the bat – he was the butt of all the jokes. Admittedly, he was a pretty easy target, and he seemed pretty accustomed to taking it. I was sure that he was cool with it, since it was coming from his closest friends.

Hayner interested me the most. He was hard to read – or at least, he tried to be. He was extremely loud and open amongst his friends, almost irritatingly so, but when I would open my mouth, he seemed uninterested. I couldn't tell if he didn't like me, or he was just trying to size me up, but the difference was pretty obvious. By the end of it, I wasn't too sure if he was someone worth trying to prove myself to.

One year later, and I can pretty confidently say that he wasn't.

Roxas was awesome about everything. Like Olette, he was constantly trying to get me into the conversation by asking questions on whatever subject we were going on about. If there was some inside joke I wasn't getting, he'd make sure to make me privy to it. He was the person who brought me there, and he definitely made it worth staying. It was the first time in a while I'd really felt included in something.

The hours flew by; it was like 3 in the morning by the time we decided to leave! Olette, Roxas, and I bade goodbye to Hayner and Pence as we made our way to the elevator. Olette lived on the same floor, so she left us on the way.

"Thanks a lot for chilling with us tonight, man," Roxas said graciously as we waited for the elevator to arrive. It dinged as the doors opened to let us inside.

"Are you kidding me? Thank _you_ for inviting me, it really means a lot!" I was beyond grateful, as you can probably imagine. Roxas grinned widely in return.

"Well, hit me up, man, we should do this again soon."

"Definitely, I'll text you!" I promised, stepping out of the elevator and on to my floor. "Good night, man."

"Night." He waved as the elevator doors shut once more to take him down to the lobby.

I arrived at RGU a total sad sack, but here I was, less than 24 hours later, heading back to my dorm with the biggest grin on my face. I opened the door to my room, only to find Zack on his bed huddled under the sheets with some brunette girl – who I later learned to be Aerith – fast asleep. Little I did know, those two's shenanigans would keep me away from that bedroom a lot.

What I did know, as I climbed into bed that night, was that for the first time in months, I could confidently look forward to a future with a friend by my side.

* * *

 **A/N: *rises back from the dead*** HI GUYS! I'm so sorry it's been so long T^T College and personal life had me swamped these past few months, and fanfiction had to go on the back burner...But I'm back! :)

Sorry to have taken such a long break only to give you guys an expository chapter. I've actually rewritten this chapter several times over the past few months since I wasn't exactly sure how to approach the set-up lolol. BUT I think I've got it down, so I'll let y'all in on it. This story will be divided into two parts, with the first being Sora's retelling of what's happened over the past year to Riku, and the second part back in the present, where Sora proceeds to figure out what to do with his situation.

This chapter was challenging to write only because I was trying to balance out how much exposition I wanted without making it too boring, so I hope I went into detail/skimmed over in the right places! Because of that, this chapter ended up being relatively short, but they should be longer as things get a little more interesting. Let me know what you think in a **review**! Hopefully there will be another update soon :D

P.S. The album ' _Wiped Out!'_ by The Neighbourhood is awesome background music to this fic ;) (The titles of each Part is taken from the song "The Beach")


	3. II

**II**

Another week passed by before I was able to see Roxas again.

We tried to meet up before then, but with classes starting that week, things got pretty hectic for everyone. I saw the other three a couple of times when I'd be on my way in and out of the building. Pence would happily wave, and Olette would always make sure to ask me how my day was going, even if she was in a rush to go somewhere herself. Hayner would acknowledge my existence with a nod, nothing more.

I'd made a few more acquaintances in my classes that week, though those connections were still only superficial at that point. I was excited at the prospect of getting back in the game and making more friends, but at the same time, I was a little wary of being 100% myself, with my confidence still being shot after what happened over the summer. It's corny, but they really mean what it when they say that only time can heal…

Moving on, uh, Zack and I were getting along pretty well around then, too. He never brought up the fact that I ditched the party without telling him, but it also didn't seem to bother him at all, so I just kind of left it at that. We'd talk about our days and share cool things we'd find online with each other. Every now and then we'd share a meal together, too. Still, he spent most of his time out of the dorm and come back pretty late at night, so it was hard getting too close to him.

So you could only imagine how excited I was when Roxas, the one person I actually did feel a connection with, texted me that Saturday night asking me if I was free to meet him in the dining hall for dinner. Honestly, at times I was questioning whether or not I was actually some fifteen-year-old girl waiting for her crush to text her back. Hah, admittedly, it was a little pathetic.

Anyway, when the time arrived, I quickly made my way over to Heartilly Dining Commons. It's a little further down the road, but it worked well 'cause it was right between Balamb Hall and the Deling Building, where Roxas lived.

That dining hall is huge, with tons of round tables to accommodate lots and lots of people. For some reason, though, it was pretty empty that night; I guess most people tend to go out to eat on Saturday nights. Tons of awesome restaurants and other types of food joints all around Radiant Garden, after all. Because of that, it didn't take me long to find him when I got there. He was sitting at one of the few occupied tables with Hayner in the corner. It seemed like they were having some sort of serious discussion from afar, but once Roxas spotted me, he happily waved me over.

"Hey, hope I'm not interrupting anything!" was the first thing out of my mouth when I got there.

"Not at all, grab a seat," Roxas replied jovially, pointing to the other chair next to him. I plopped myself right down. "So, how was your week?"

"Not bad," I summarized. "How 'bout you guys?" I eyed Hayner, who seemed to be browsing something on his phone.

"Alright, I guess," he said, eyes not leaving the screen.

"Classes aren't too bad, but we'll see what happens when exams and all that crap start to come up," Roxas added. "Before we get into all that, though, let's get some food. I'm _hungry_!"

The three of us got up and eagerly explored the various buffets around the dining hall, piling up masses of food on our plates before reconvening at the table. I definitely was not worried about the freshman fifteen then, but I guess that's beside the point!

Anyway, we continued the lighthearted chitchat for a bit while we enjoyed our food. Hayner was a little bit more interactive this time around, although part of me was pretty sure that it was just because the group was so much smaller. Oh, well.

Somewhere during the conversation, I noticed a huge gift bag in between Roxas and Hayner's seats.

"Oh, this? Crap, I forgot to tell you – It's Olette's birthday today!" Roxas explained.

"Oh, no way!" I replied. "Happy birthday to her!"

"Yeah, we're actually throwing a mini-surprise party for her after this," he continued. "Hey, if you're free after this, you should come along."

"Uh, I don't want to intrude…" Hayner was not subtle at all with his side-eye. I was actually pretty surprised when he caught himself.

"No, you should come through," he said, a little begrudgingly. "The more the merrier, after all."

"Yeah, Olette will be definitely happier if more people show up," Roxas agreed. "We asked some friends she made in her classes to come join us, too."

"A-alright, sure!" I was excited at the prospect of finally having something to do on a Saturday night. Until I realized: "Oh, but wait, I didn't get her anything…"

"Don't worry about it, what we got her's gonna knock her socks off," Roxas assured. "I won't take the credit for this, though, it was all Hayner's idea."

"She's been talking about getting one for months, it really wasn't that hard," Hayner said, a little embarrassed. "You'll see when she opens it," he added, when he saw me open my mouth, about to ask.

"We're gonna go pick up the cake right after this, and bring it to the common room on their floor." Roxas gestured to Hayner. "Pence has her occupied until everything's in place."

"He better not blow it," Hayner scoffed, taking a sip of whatever he was drinking.

So that was that. We finished dinner and headed out to a bakery along the way to pick out a birthday cake. The three of us split the cost, and I offered to carry the cake back to Balamb Hall so I wasn't totally useless.

We arrived at the tenth floor common room to find it filled with a bunch of people who were anxiously awaiting our arrival. I was taken aback – those rooms were big enough to fit maybe 25 people comfortably? And it was jam-packed! Olette had _that_ many friends already?

"Looks like Hayner just ended up inviting everyone she met in her classes," Roxas explained offhand, as we got the table ready with the cake and gifts. "I know he said there were going to be quite a few people, but damn, he really outdid himself."

"I'll say," said a new voice. I looked up to see Hayner and some other guy with a beanie tying "Happy Birthday" balloons to the table. When he turned so I could get a good look at his face, the first thing I noticed was a nasty scar across his face.

"Seifer!" Roxas greeted cheerily – and yes, I know you may be shocked now, but they were actually really close back then. Like I said…a lot happened. Ahem, anyway, he continued, "Didn't think you'd actually make it."

"Well, Hayner got on his hands and knees and begged, so really, I couldn't refuse –"

"Excuse me?" Hayner interjected, bemused. "You're the one who _offered_ to drive down here for this."

"Guess we can't hide the best of you, Seifer," Roxas chuckled. "Oh, by the way, this is Sora." He gestured over to me as I was sticking candles into the cake. "Sora, this is Seifer. He's from back at Twilight Town, like the rest of us."

"Nice to meet you!" I made sure to note to be extra nice to this guy, since I could tell Roxas and the rest had a lot of respect for him.

"Sora, huh?" Seifer looked me up and down, probably sizing me up. "How you liking RGU so far?"

"Not bad!" Generic answer, I know.

"Seifer graduated from here, like, 30 years ago," Hayner explained with a smirk.

"Yeah, he's one of _those_ people who seem to have a hard time moving on with their lives," Roxas added.

"Oh, I see," I said with a chuckle. Seifer shook his head, though he was unable to hide his amusement.

"Well, I guess I'll just stay back in Twilight Town if you guys ever need anything. I'll even quit hanging out with you when you're back home, since apparently I have to 'move on,'" he shrugged.

"C'mon, man, you know we're just messing," Roxas assured with a grin.

The light-hearted banter continued for the next few minutes as we finalized the preparations. It was probably about five minutes or so before 9 when we shut off the lights, and everyone hid behind the various chairs and other pieces of furniture in the room, anticipating Pence's arrival with the guest of honor. Excited whispers filled the air, interrupted by Hayner's incessant shushing – everything had to go according to plan.

It wasn't before long that the door creaked open, and everyone jumped out to yell "Surprise!" For a second there, I was actually worried that we surprised the wrong person, but those fears dissipated once I saw Olette standing there, jaw dropped practically to the floor.

"You _guys_ ," she practically whined, with the tears starting to form in the corners of her eyes. I know I wasn't too involved in the planning, but to be able to be a part of something that brought her so much joy was kind of…elating.

She began making a round around the room, giving everyone a hug. When she got to me, she had a wide grin on her face.

"Sora! Thank you _so_ much for coming, it really means a lot!" she said, throwing her arms around me.

"Well, it's really Roxas, Hayner, and Pence you gotta thank. They're the ones that threw this all together," I responded, not really sure what else to say. After all, I'd only been roped into this for the past couple of hours – the other three had been at it for days, from my understanding.

"Still, for you to come even though we just met, it's really appreciated!" She let go and looked back up at me, beaming. "I'm just gonna go talk to them, but really, thank you again."

"Of course." I watched her as she bounced over back to where Pence, Hayner, Roxas, and Seifer were. She looked so happy, as the rest of them were brimming with pride in their accomplishment.

I looked around at the rest of the room, not exactly wanting to interrupt them. I didn't recognize a single other person in there. No one else seemed to have that problem, though – everyone had broken up into their own little groups, eagerly conversing and laughing with one another. It didn't seem like any of them had any room for an extra person – in reality, I was just too timid to actually hurl myself into a group of people I didn't know. I feared making a fool of myself. I was hoping there would be another awkward loner hiding in the corner or something; I wouldn't mind approaching him or her, as Roxas had done with me a week before. Unfortunately, it didn't look like that was gonna pan out, so I just turned my attention back to the people I did know: the Twilight Town gang.

My emotions were a little mixed, to be honest. I was almost over the moon to have been included in something like this, and to actually start building connections – I was almost sure that Olette and I were definitely going to be friends after this, with the attention she gave me, and how welcoming she'd been in general all week. Still, there was a longing in me that was dragging me down…I was in the group, but not _in_ it, you know what I mean? I realized that they had a really long history together, but there was a part of me that was hopeful that with time, they might overlook that and let me in.

Caught once more not knowing what to do, I sort of shrank back into the background, focusing my attention on my phone.

Silently, I made a resolution to not have to resort to that by the end of that semester.

Anxieties aside, the party went well. The cake was cut, we all sang happy birthday while she stood there awkwardly, and we all made sure to take pictures to post on our social medias to broadcast to the world what we were up to. You know, pretty standard stuff.

Olette also ended up opening that present that Hayner and Roxas got her. It was an authentic Struggle jersey, signed by Setzer himself! She was over the moon, and I and everyone else in the room was just thinking about how much money it must have caught to get him that! Those things are expensive, man. Even Seifer looked shocked.

It was about two hours later when everyone began to leave. I debated on going, too, but I felt obliged to help clean up the mess.

"What'd you think?" I overheard Hayner asking Olette.

"You're honestly the best!" Olette beamed, and Hayner's face turned beet-red.

"I'm glad, it took a lot of work to get this done, after all…" He glanced around the room, probably because he didn't want anyone to hear him stroking his own ego. I respected his wishes by pretending to ignore him, but I have to admit, it was pretty hilarious.

Once everything was cleaned up, those of us that remained reconvened in the hallway.

"So, what now, Ms. Birthday Girl?" Roxas asked Olette. "Wanna have an after-party somewhere? It's only 10:00!"

"Actually, I was going to head home with Seifer," she explained apologetically. "My parents wanted to take me out tomorrow."

"Oh, so Seifer's a chauffeur now?" Roxas smirked, nudging him with an elbow.

"Hey, can it, or there aren't going to be any rides in your future from me," Seifer scoffed. "That bus is pretty expensive. Anyway," he continued, "get your things Olette, and make it snappy. It's a two-hour drive back."

"Yeah, it's already past Grandpa Seifer's bedtime," Pence said smugly. Hayner and Roxas both fist-bumped him for his wit, and I just chuckled on the side.

Wanting to respect Seifer's wishes, though, Olette quickly went to grab her things and bade us goodbye, with another round of thank-you hugs. We watched the two of them disappear behind the closing elevator doors, before beginning to discuss what we wanted to do then.

"Let's go out somewhere," suggested Roxas. "We've been here a week and haven't explored the city at all!"

"Where exactly do you think we're gonna go at ten on a Saturday?" Hayner asked, with his eyebrow cocked up.

"Dude, we're _college students_ in freaking _Radiant Garden_ of all places! What isn't there to do?"

"I don't know Roxas, it's not like we even have a set plan or anything," Pence contemplated. "Don't want to get lost or something."

"I looked up this shisha lounge earlier, it's not too far," Roxas said, pulling out his phone, presumably looking for directions.

"Shisha? You mean those water pipes people smoke from?" Hayner asked, a tone of disapproval in his voice.

"Yeah, man. Hey, Sora, you've probably done it before, right?" All attention was turned towards me.

The answer was actually 'no,' but I just chose to respond cryptically with "Everyone back on the Islands does it, yeah. It's like a cultural thing."

"'Cultural thing' or not, I'm not interested in developing lung cancer," Hayner scoffed.

"Alright, fine," Roxas conceded, though he didn't seem to happy about it. He turned back to me. "Sora, you wanna come with me?"

It took me a second to register the situation. "Uh, sure," I replied. Roxas' lips curled into a triumphant smile.

"Awesome! Pence, you should come, too!"

You could only deduce from Pence's expression that he suddenly found himself caught between a rock and a hard place. "Uh, I don't know…"

"Come on, man, it's always good to venture out of your comfort zone! Isn't that right, Sora?" Roxas turned to me, hopefully. I nodded, trying to help convince Pence.

"You can go if you want, Pence," Hayner said, though very unconvincingly. I could tell that he was going to be judgmental if Pence actually decided to come with us.

"Maybe next time, guys, sorry!" Pence decided, though he seemed a little embarrassed.

"We can plan something out in advance so everyone's on the same page next time," I said, trying to comfort the poor guy.

"Well, catch ya later then," Roxas waved, and immediately turned towards the elevator. I said my goodbyes and ran after to join him.

We stayed silent until we left the building.

"Ugh, sorry about them," Roxas apologized, after we had determined where we were going to go. We decided on this place called 'Pipe Dreams' located right up the street.

"What for?" It wasn't like they did anything wrong, in my opinion.

"They're always like this," he sighed. "Like, whenever we're trying to plan to go out and do something, we have to make sure we account for every single aspect. Nothing can go wrong, and if something seems a little fishy, they back out right away."

"Oh, really?" I was surprised to be hearing these complaints from him, with how perfect everyone in the group's relationship seemed to be.

Little did I know, I was just scratching the surface at this point; there was a whole ocean beneath to dive into.

"Yeah," he continued. "They're just so sheltered, you know? Taking risks is the scariest thing for them, but in my opinion, you end up just closing yourself off from so many opportunities…You know, that's why I approached you at that party in the first place. Yeah, you looked like you'd rather be anywhere else in the world, but the fact that you still took a chance and came to experience something new – you seem like a guy up for adventure."

"I feel more like a fish out of water, to be honest," I laughed, a little taken aback at the compliment I'd received.

"Did you know anyone here before deciding to come here?" Roxas asked.

I shook my head. "I had to choose between here and the local college back on the Islands. I sort of jumped the gun and ended up coming here."

"Wow, so you were basically on your own when you got here. And so far away from home, too…"

"Pretty much." Except for that one person at Radiant Garden College, but I didn't really want to talk about him at that point.

"I kind of envy you a little bit there, to be honest. Not that I don't love my friends, but sometimes, it gets a little frustrating, you know? I feel like I'm restraining myself sometimes when I hang out with them, but when I go out somewhere without them, it's like I've betrayed them."

"Hm, I don't think you should feel guilty about that, though," I said, as we got to the front door of 'Pipe Dreams.' The whole entire building was paved with glass windows, but it was dark and filled with smoke in there, so it was hard to make out what it was like inside. "They should realize your differences, and accept you for that."

I was speaking from experience, after all.

Roxas smiled appreciatively as he held the door open for me.

The inside of that place was…interesting, to say the least. Back on the islands, shisha's part of the local culture. You walk the streets and you see small groups of people huddled around one or two every block. Lots of people order them regularly with their meals at restaurants, and a party isn't a party without at least one back there.

'Pipe Dreams' existed to exotify that, with stereotypical Island music blearing in the background, and gorgeous female waitresses who wore cultural garb as a costume rather than an actual outfit. And you could tell that the patrons were in there for the cool ambience brought by the cloud of smoke that enveloped the place rather than an actual interest in Island culture and practices.

A weird combination of irk and intrigue filled me, but I digress.

"This place seems pretty chill, huh?" asked Roxas observed, as we were seated.

"I guess. Definitely different from what I've seen," I said, looking around. "Might not be a bad thing, though."

A waitress came by to take our order, and after briefly glancing at the menu we ended up asking for something really fruity. I think there was a pineapple bowl on top of it…Anyway, as we were waiting for the shisha to arrive, we continued where we left off in our conversation earlier.

"Man, I really kind of wish Hayner and Pence came along. Maybe they would have loosened up…nah, that's just wishful thinking," Roxas mused.

"You never know!" I interjected, hoping a little optimism might cheer him up. "Maybe if we talked to them about how it goes here at some point later, they'd be more open to it."

Roxas shook his head at my suggestion. "You'd be surprised, the preconceived notions they have in their head about things. It's very hard to change that about them. Especially with Olette?"

"Really?" She didn't seem like the type.

"Well, the thing is, Olette won't do things that make her uncomfortable – which is a lot of things – but if someone else decides to do that, she won't judge them for it. Her whole motto is 'live and let live,' which I respect. But when it comes to Hayner…Well, it might be pretty obvious, but he's completely in love with her."

"Oh…." It totally clicked! The way he was stressing about how perfect the party was going to go, the expensive gift he got her, the way he was stroking his own ego around her; the guy was smitten. "It makes a lot of sense, now that you mention it!"

"Yeah, so anything that she doesn't approve of, Hayner automatically antagonizes in order to impress her, or whatever. Seifer would tell us all the time over the last couple of years about how he loves going to these shisha bars, and Olette was not having the idea at all. So Hayner knew, when I suggested the idea, that it wouldn't be in this interest to come up. And then Pence just kind of follows him around like a lost puppy; Hayner's a lot harder to be around when you disappoint him then I am."

"Poor Pence," I chuckled. Roxas smiled, although you could tell there was still some underlying disappointment.

"It's just annoying sometimes, you know? Kind of like a mob mentality, or at least it feels that way when everyone disagrees with you."

"Yeah, I totally get it." I really did.

"It got worse over the past year, too."

"Oh, really?" I was taken aback – was Roxas about to open up to me, and only after our second time hanging out together, too?

"Yeah…long story short, my girlfriend of about two years and I broke up earlier this year," he began.

"Sorry to hear that, man." I was at a loss for words as to what exactly to say in the situation.

"Thanks, man, but, no worries, it was kind of a long-time coming." His eyes looked a little glassy, but he snapped out of it quickly, and continued. "Um, anyway, I could always tell that they weren't huge fans of my ex, but they never outwardly said anything about it. It was 'cause of that, though, that I would try to chill separately with her and with them. I know they wouldn't approve of some of the things we did, so I felt like it was better to just keep that stuff private. In the end though, it kind of alienated me a bit, you know? Since I wasn't always there with them, I'd miss out on certain things, making the three of them closer to each other than to me.

"It was a pretty nasty break-up, when I finally ended it with my girlfriend. Hayner, Pence, and Olette kind of helped me through it, but I didn't feel like I could be 100% open about it with them, you know? There were so many factors they didn't understand…" I could tell it was a painful memory for him, something he really rather wouldn't talk about.

"You don't have to tell me, if you're uncomfortable," I reassured him.

A small smile formed on his face. "This just isn't a place for that story," he explained. "Um, well, anyway, after the break-up, like I said, they helped me through it. They invited me to hang out a lot more, and tried to be as open as they could to hear me out whenever something bothered me. But there also were so many things that they didn't understand about the relationship, that they could kind of be insensitive about it. I fucked up – we both did – but she was still someone that I had once loved, you know? Even though I knew it, actually hearing things like 'we never really liked her anyway' really hurt. On top of that, Hayner was noticeably colder towards me. I think it's 'cause I was finally single again."

"What?!" I said in disbelief, unsure as to how the two correlated.

"Yeah. Like I said, he's got this huge crush on Olette, so when there're guys around her that she's close to that aren't him, he gets insecure. He takes it out on people by…well, kind of being a dick."

"That's awful, though. You're one of his best friends, he knows you wouldn't do something like that to him…right?"

"Of course I wouldn't. Besides, I love Olette like a sister, nothing more. It's crazy how much a person's insecurities can drive them. I think the only person he doesn't behave that way towards is Pence, only because he doesn't exactly view him as a threat. He just picks on Pence 'cause it's fun."

I frowned. I wasn't exactly the biggest fan of Hayner to begin with, and hearing about this side of him wasn't helping the image I had of him in my head.

"The only reason he was cool with Seifer taking Olette home is 'cause Seifer has a girlfriend," Roxas added. "Otherwise, he would have been in an even crappier mood when we left."

"I think he needs to grow up," I said bluntly. "Behaving that way is probably only going to hurt him in the long run."

"Well, you live and you learn," Roxas shrugged. "Maybe one day he'll grow a pair and finally ask Olette out, and all these problems'll be solved."

"I sure hope that's the case." Though at the same time, I'd feel bad for Olette having to be with a guy like that. But who was I to make that judgment?

It was at this point our double-hosed shisha was finally delivered to us.

"So, you've probably done this a ton of times, right?" Roxas asked, eagerly reaching over to take his hose. For the first time, I also noticed these giant scabs around a couple of his fingernails. I figured they probably came from hangnails or something, so I didn't pay too much mind to it.

"Actually, this is my first time, believe it or not!" Which was why, as I alluded to earlier, I was intrigued.

"What? No way, how? Anyone who goes to Destiny Islands to vacation does it!"

"My old friends were all really into it, but I never really saw the appeal…I guess it's ironic that my first time be in a place like this, huh?"

"Yeah," Roxas agreed. He put his hose into his mouth, closed his eyes, and took in a long inhale. Slowly, he opened his eyes and exhaled, emitting a large cloud of smoke. "Damn, that goes down _way_ easier than cigarettes. The taste is way better, too." He put it to his mouth again.

At that point, I put the hose to my mouth for the very first time. I sucked on it and…

The water started bubbling out from the top of the tank! I felt like such an idiot, man! We thought something was wrong with the pipe itself, but apparently I was blowing into the hose instead of inhaling the stuff. I felt like a dumbass.

"Are you sure you're from Destiny Islands?" Roxas chortled. I glared at him jokingly, but it was really just me masking my embarrassment. I finally figured it out, though, and took a deep inhale. As someone who'd never smoked anything before, I thought it was going to burn my lungs, but it actually went down pretty smooth, I have to say. The flavor wasn't bad either. Reminded me of paopu fruit.

A few puffs later, and admittedly, I felt a little light-headed. Still, something about it was just so relaxing.

"So, why now?" Roxas suddenly asked, breaking our momentary silence.

"Huh?" I wasn't sure what he was referring to.

"Why try shisha now? I'm sure it's a lot more accessible and cheaper back on Destiny Islands. Plus, I'm sure the authentic stuff is way better."

"Well…" I began.

So, you know how I told you I didn't want to get into what happened over the summer? I guess at this point, I might as well tell you…a lot of things will make more sense. Besides, it's not like I have anything to hide. I just didn't realize how many layers this story really has to it; this is one of the ones I'm just going to have to uncover in order for us to delve a little deeper.

Ah, sorry, I'm taking up so much of your time! Are you really sure this is okay?

…Alright then, if you're sure…then here goes.

"…I guess I was always a little different from my friends back home," I explained. Roxas was all ears.

"Well, you know I know the feeling," Roxas said, a little sympathetically. "Still, something so widespread – wait, sorry, I'm probably prodding."

"No, no, it's fine! Like I said, I never really saw the appeal, even though everyone around me was doing it. I kind of regret it now, though, because I think that ended up alienating me."

"Really?"

I nodded my head vigorously. For some reason, I just felt like I could open up to him, even though, relatively speaking, we still barely knew each other. He'd just opened up to me about his own personal problems, only strengthening the connection I already felt with him. It's knowing and accepting the low points in someone's life that fortifies relationships.

I also guess I just needed to get it off my chest; it's hard to vent about something when you feel like everyone's against you. Here in Roxas, I had a neutral opinion – maybe even someone on my side.

"It was a lot of things besides the shisha, too, though," I began. "The thing with the Islands is, it's so small – everyone knows each other. In a way, it's kind of nice, because it can be kind of like a big ol' family. But when a population is so small…well, let's just say it's hard to go against the flow. The acceptable opinions and ways to live your life are just so much more limited than they are in a giant city like Radiant Garden.

"That being said, the friends you make when you're little basically end up being your friends for life. You can't just grow apart from a group and drift off to another one, because that other group doesn't exist. If you don't fit in, you either gotta conform, or hope that everyone around you will accept you the way you are.

"My group of friends was extremely tight-knit; the way you are for the most part now with Hayner, Pence, and Olette, kind of reminds me of how it was with them. We did everything together – classes, extracurricular activities, hanging out, partying. I couldn't imagine a future without them. I didn't always particularly like what we were doing, but I made do. They were all into the glitz and glamour of the party-life, the brands of clothes everyone was wearing, who was in a relationship with who, basic pop music, the works. Me? I was more of a comic book and alternative genre kind of guy. I'd stay away from things I really didn't get, like shisha, but I went along with everything as best as I could. But like I said, I tried my best not to push my real interests onto them.

"It got hard at times, though; I felt like I was constantly putting on an act, you know? When I got to my senior year of high school, I wanted that to change. I embraced myself, and finally started talking and making posts on my social media about my true interests. I also tried introducing those things to my friends by doing things like playing my music at parties, or actually talking about how I way preferred to look and feel comfortable in my clothes rather than shell out a small fortune for the brand-named crap. I guess I rubbed them the wrong way, though…slowly, but surely, I noticed the posts on MoogleSpace without me, the inside jokes that I was no longer in on. Pretty soon, I just stopped getting invited all-together.

"I really didn't want to believe that it was happening. I tried my best to ignore it, I really did. Every now and then I'd post a cryptic MoogleSpace status shading them when it got too much to handle, but for the most part, I kept the pain to myself. Looking back, it was sure as hell immature of me to do that, but I didn't know what else to do. There wasn't exactly anyone I felt comfortable going to talk about these problems; I was so isolated.

"Eventually, I decided enough was enough, and I wanted to confront them about it. I made an event under the guise of a picnic on the beach, and invited all my friends to it. Or, at least, I thought I did. Inadvertently, I completely and totally mistakenly forgot to invite Tidus, the guy who was basically the group ring-leader.

"Now, although we had our differences, I knew my friends to be rational people, so you can imagine my surprise when they blew up on me about something as trivial as forgetting – and profusely apologizing – to invite someone. But apparently, it was the straw that broke the camel's back. They'd just been waiting to pounce on me for those subliminal statuses, that I guess were a little too obviously about them. They were 'offended' and 'hurt' by all the terrible things I had to say.

"Conveniently, it was forgotten that I have feelings, too.

"I eventually got to my breaking point, too, and ended up saying a lot of things that I now regret…I might have called a few people "bitches" and "assholes," which at the time I felt was totally called for. I was too emotional, I couldn't think straight, and I just escalated the problem and made it a million times worse.

"I apologized for everything I had said profusely and passionately, when my head cleared up. But I could tell they weren't buying it. Tidus said, in exactly these words: 'I might not exactly believe you, but I'll be the bigger person and accept your apology.' Psh. Like it was some charity. They'd already made up their minds months before, and I had killed any chance of getting back into the group.

"It was around that time that we had to make the decision about where we wanted to go for college. I knew I had to get out of there, and that's when I decided on RGU. I just had to make it through the summer – the worst summer ever, I have to say, by the way – but I knew that once I made it here, I could start over, you know?"

"Damn, I'm sorry you had to go through that man. That really sucks," Roxas concluded, after letting out a deep puff of smoke.

"Yeah, it does," I concurred. "But here I am…and ironically, doing _this_ , something I never did when it actually made sense to where it's probably a lot better, and cheaper, back home."

"Maybe you're subconsciously trying to figure out what you were missing out on," Roxas suggested, blowing out another puff.

"Hm, maybe…" I took in my own contemplative smoke.

"Who knows, though? In the long run, as painful of an experience I can only imagine that was, it was probably a good thing. Sometimes, we just have to purge ourselves of some toxic people."

That really struck a chord in me. "You know, I never thought of it that way…Thanks for that, Roxas."

"Well, here's to better things, including a bomb-ass freshman year," he said cheerily, holding his hose out toward me.

"Yeah!" I clinked it with mine, with the largest of grins on my face, before taking another hit in unison. Which you totally aren't supposed to do, but it's not like it damaged the shisha or anything.

So, now you know that about me. And so did Roxas, which at the time, made me feel closer to him than anyone else in a long time. It wasn't exactly the most cathartic experience, though that's probably 'cause I moped about it enough on my own. Still, being able to tell him all that made me feel liberated. And by the time we left the bar that night, I had officially plunged myself into the ocean that was to be our friendship.

I wasn't swimming back to shore any time soon.

* * *

 **A/N:** Okay, apologies for the long-ass chapter. I tried cutting corners to consolidate this behemoth, but I felt like every event that transpired here was essential to mention here - hope it wasn't too overwhelming!

So the word "shisha" is actually another Arabic/Persian word for what's more commonly known as hookah; I wanted to come up with my own original word for something in the KH universe, but I couldn't come up with anything creative no matter how hard I wracked my brains lol.

Again, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm really into the groove of writing this, so hopefully it's not too long before another update! Please leave me a **review** to keep me motivated! **Sinful Serenata** and I also started on Chapter 7 of our collab fic **Sex Ed** , so expect and update on that soon! I plan on getting back to work on **Taboo** at some point too.

Also, check out my girl **Painted with a Palette** 's fic **Daybreak Academy**! It's basically the Kingdom Hearts version of Hogwarts, and even though it's only 3 chapters so far, it's got a lot of promise!

 **Shoutouts:** Thank you **Sinful Serenata** , **snow. x . fairy** , and **laindessiel** for your reviews on the prologue, and double thanks to **Painted with a Palette** and **TheNotSoTalentedPoet** for your reviews on Chapter 1 as well!


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